4th updates the Charm, right?

Where have I been after the disaster that befell us?

Well we took many months to look at ourselves and our goals introspectively. Adoption isn’t a certain; going to happen thing.  Yes, we do all we can to provide a glimpse into who we are and to put it “out there” but the fact remains you have to hope something resonates with someone to inquire because a  couple page brochure isn’t the whole of who you are. Then your agency goes under out of the blue so Stunned is an understatement. We had no clue what was about to happen.  After talking with multiple news outlets we got the story out there and so did so many other families affected.

Now, it’s June and we are into our 4^th update in our 4^th year. Updates are a redo of all your paperwork, medicals, fingerprints, and additional background checks. They are a pain to get done but we do it because we must if we want to adopt.  We have a new social worker, our other one has retired and while she’s reached out during our difficulties it does fall on our new Social workers shoulders.  We met last week for our current update and she is super sweet and wants to help anyway she can.  I was Super stoked she took some of our old printed IAC letters to alter and send to lawyers and hospitals to hold onto in case of an expectant mother wanting a placement.  I’m still worried it’ll never happen.  This is our last year and then I have to resign myself to be childless.  I keep hoping someone will see us and like us and contact us (who aren’t trying to scam us) but I’m honestly becoming deflated. The majority of my contacts are folks in Cameroon wanting VISAS and other such countries with the same expectations.

So I’m in the realm of independent adoption which means we are on the web, and we apply for situations through lawyers in our inbox.  I’m obviously still on Adoptimist and other websites for us such as our own website but it’s a scary place to be.

Besides that we have recently taken a trip to Miami and Key West with our friends and had a blast.  Now that may make you think of activity after activity but we just relaxed for once.  We walked, went to the beach, ate great food, and drove to the keys where we rented jet skies and shopped in town. It was the calmest vacation we’ve had in a while. We normally are a go see all the things but not this time.

The Golden Mammoth on the Boardwalk in Miami

A Crazy Busy 2 weeks

All the crazy is over and our 4^th home study update is done.  Every year we get that email from our adoption coordinator that our fingerprints are due and it’s the signal that our home study update is due shortly after.  The fingerprinting is part of the FBI clearances due every year.  It’s always a difficult milestone to reach but this year they added additional papers to be filled out that I didn’t know about so it took a few trips to the police station and a phone call plus a print, form fill out, scan and email in order to get our fingerprints processed.

On top of the complications with getting all the correct paperwork for that was the notice that our doctor was closing.  Insert panic! We were able to get the scheduled appointments but I am so upset she is moving and closing the office.  We’ve been going to her for 13 years and in our small community she is like family, she knows us. We both saw her today for our updates and I wished her well but I will miss her.  We hugged and said good-bye but I always imagined her taking care of our new family once we adopt.  She was perfect as she adopted her 2 kids and knows how much it means to be personal and not judgmental.  I hope we find a new doctor who will be the same.  It’s part of my interview process now.

Our home visit also brought us some sad news that our social worker of the last 4 years is retiring at the end of the year.  I honestly felt a heavy brick hit me when she told us.  I, again, pictured her seeing us with our family for post-placement visits.  I love her she is such a great woman doing an amazing job who also adopted 4 kids so she completely understands the emotional roller-coaster of the wait, the paperwork, and the parenting of adopted kids she’s often shared. 

Fast forward a week of scammers trying to get us in their web and missed international phone calls and emails (which we couldn’t help anyway since we are going for domestic adoption) and she forwarded an email with some situations from an agency she’s worked with many times before.  So after reading tons of legal paperwork, I signed us up.  Yes, we are now with 2 agencies on top of our complete on-line presence.  I am hopeful that we will connect this year with a birth family. So if you know anyone thinking of adoption please forward our website, blog or agency page.