I'm not dead and we're still trying to adopt

So my last post was all about yay! A contact but then she turned out to be working with multiple agencies.

BIG FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT!

So instead of matching with her after texting for almost 2 weeks we said good-bye and good-luck.

So now it’s December, almost the end of it actually and I realize I’ve seriously neglected the blog.

We were featured in our friend’s blog post this month and for that we were extremely grateful.  She was lucky to adopt this year after an excruciating wait and for her to feature us and a few other friends still waiting was a blessing to all of us especially since she doesn’t update the blog often because you know new parent, work, and school. She’s quite busy and extremely happy to be.  I can’t express how thrilled I am for them, seriously even though we are still waiting it’s amazing to see our adoption friends become a family.

Christmas is upon us and I’ve been ready for a few weeks.  I called early in the month for gift ideas, made my choices and they’ve been delivered and wrapped beneath the tree for a couple weeks.  This year was an order, ship, wrap season.  I hope everything we got works for everyone but if not I tried my best with my limited knowledge.  Turns out we’ll be having 16 people for Christmas this year  (I thought we’d have 10 which is doable) and my @400sq ft is going to be stretched to the max.  You see our house is a 2 story so most of the upstairs is bedrooms/bathrooms/kitchen leaving about 400sq ft.  The basement which we turned into our living room is also about 400 sq ft so not much respite there.  If I had known we’d have so many folks I’d have suggested a restaurant banquet space so we’d all have room and seats. 

What bums me out is I can’t cook us a Christmas dinner.  I mean I can but no one has a place to sit so I opted for appetizers this year.  I’m going to miss the family dinner. I love cooking for family and so this is a huge bummer for me; although I am still making my cheesecake (drunken cherry cheesecake) for dessert.  I refuse to give that up.  I’m also making my Pumpkin bread to share. 

I find myself this season giving all kinds of positive reinforcement for others in our agency and it’s often not easy (seriously for how long we’ve been waiting this sucks not because they don’t deserve it but because we’ve been passed over so often! But I refuse to be a Debbie downer it’s not me) but you know I know it makes a difference. The waiting sucks!  Period! No matter if its 5 months or 5 years but the difference is those waiting 5 years are seriously thinking it’s about time to quit vs those who just signed up thinking it’s gonna happen anytime.  I remember those days and then watching those days slide past as others dreams came true.

I can only hope that our dream can come through before I say enough is enough.  I’m tired of the almost, the failed matches, the failed placements.  I try to keep the faith that our family is out there. Since our resent contact was contacting multiple agencies and therefore we didn’t match with her my faith is restored in our agency diligence but I wish it’d been before we’d been contacted. It’s the downside of open adoption.

I’m also disappointed in our other agency who called me after we opted for a small partial refund (thus ending our contract).  As soon as the check cleared our account we received a call asking if we’d entertain an EM due a month from now.  I was asleep and even my asleep self said No. You aren’t getting me to re-sign up after our failed placement.  If you had this mom you could have presented her before we said no thank you. I have no faith in them and I’m done but it doesn’t mean I don’t get upset saying No, or that I don’t cry with the possibility I just turned down because I do.  I get upset every single time!

Someday we hope to be parents but I hope it happens before we say no more as each year looms closer to the no children option. When May rolls around and we have to update our home study and FBI clearances I guess we’ll see where I’m at.  It’s not a cheap process and if you have not gotten leads it’s a discouragement and a why? I’m also bummed our social worker is retiring this month so we’ll be working with someone new next year.

I love our social worker and am so bummed she wasn’t/won’t be here to witness our family being built. She adopted her 4 kids and has shared such great stories; I’d really hoped she’d been in our corner but 4 almost 5 years in she’s retiring. I sent her a card I hope she’s received.  She can’t explain why we haven’t been chosen and then neither can we or our AC so you know we just plug along.

So that’s December – It’s an emotional mix of emotions and themes.
So here’s Our Christmas tree this year and some of the presents under it.

December 2015 - Where I've been

Good-bye 2015 and Hello to a New Year!

I haven’t written in a month and I needed that time off to focus on us and getting the house back in order after the construction completed.  Seems like it’s all I’ve talked about recently but we really accomplished a lot of small and not so small jobs around the house this last year.   It feels great to finally get some of these things done.

 Our first project was redoing the basement bathroom

Then we moved on to flooring

 We also repainted and added cabinets to this room

 We hired a contractor to redo this half of the basement and stairwell

Finished and furnished - new living room

So December was full of fun.  We returned from California late on Sunday after Thanksgiving and Don had to get on a plane the next morning for Houston.  I took the time to dig out the decorations so I was ready when Don got home that weekend to go pick out our tree.  I am like a kid in the candy shop on a shopping spree giddy about getting the tree.  If we do nothing else I just want a Christmas tree and the ability to decorate it and the house while listening to Christmas music.  Don is less interested because live trees are heavy but he does it for me every year (and I tell him every year he must really love me!).  I do look every year for a fake tree that I like without being a pre-lit tree but to no avail.  While I’d still probably get a small live tree, I have to admit having a fake one in the garage would be great. 

 This is now our dining room all decorated for Christmas

Ok, so the tree is home and set up, we have 12 days until Christmas.  Then we planned a gaming party for the Monday and Tuesday before Christmas.  As I’ve mentioned before Construction leaves a huge amount of dust and it just keeps coming even after cleaning up so I asked Don to help clean the kitchen walls, ceiling etc.  He went up to the kitchen and said you know if we’re clearing out the kitchen to deep clean, we may as well repaint and replace the temporary cabinet we put in 12 years ago.  Now if he is up to paint, I’m all for it so I jumped at it.  He made his way to the big box store on Tuesday while I began clearing everything from the kitchen. He picked out the paint which is something I normally do and he chose well.  It’s a sort of cranberry color which goes well with the other accessories in the kitchen and our floor is grey so we painted the ceiling grey instead of white.  It sounds quick and easy on paper but it’s a kitchen.  The walls were cleaned twice, as well as sanded down and wiped down again and they were still resisting the paint. We should have had it done in a couple days but I finally finished putting the kitchen back together on Sunday night at 10pm. Our guests were due to arrive around noon the following day.  Whew! At least it got done.

 new cabinets and kitchen color

The game day holiday party we hosted was a lot of fun.  We played every expansion of Talisman (hence the 2 days and we still didn’t finish it before people had to head home). Our friends from up north just stayed over and a good thing too since it snowed all afternoon and evening. We were supposed to have a white Christmas this year but it happened a few days early.  Our yard is great to sled in when it snows but we didn’t get enough on the ground.

 Talisman game

snowing 

Christmas day was great! My mom was able to come which is something I’d worried she wouldn’t be able to do.  She was released from the Hospital the 2^nd week of December but I was worried about her not being able to sit for very long.  They did leave shortly after dessert though since they’d stopped and saw my grandma for a few hours before coming up here. I’m just glad she is on the mend and getting better every day.

my mom showing me the blouse I got her as one of her Christmas presents

our nephew showing off his new shoes

So that’s pretty much the December review.  Not much else happened after Christmas except making homemade Donuts the day after Christmas. Our nephew ( the one pictured above) had surgery today to remove a tumor from his foot and luckily it was benign, yesterday they thought it was cancer after looking at his MRI. So ya seriously over 2015!  We stayed in for New Years Eve this year which was great. 

 Happy New Year!

I’m seriously glad 2015 is over.  It was a rough year but it’s made my resolve all that more strong. 

We have a trip coming up in a few days and I can’t wait to get someplace warmer for a few days. 

Here's hoping for a great year for all of us in 2016.

December was a Whirlwind and saying good-bye to 2014

So the New Year is upon us and I've been slack in writing as of late.

It’s been a whirlwind of holiday activity here since returning from California at the beginning of the month.  I honestly can’t believe how busy we've been with visits, gatherings, travel, and Christmas.

I flew to Atlanta the middle of the month to spend time with friends and we had a blast and the bonus was my friends from Tennessee were able to drive out for the day and ended up staying overnight.  Really had a fantastic time playing games, telling stories, and just relaxing in each other’s company. One couple was approved for Fostering up to 6 children and a couple days after I got home they had a full house.  I hope they had a fabulous Christmas with the kids. We couldn't be happier for you!

After coming home it was a scramble to get the gifts wrapped before Don came home from Atlanta and finish decorating.  That weekend was a “reunion” dinner for the folks who went to Ghana this year as a way to catch up and share food that the hosts felt resembled things they ate while there.  I have to say it was incredible. The 6 course meal was spectacular and the company even better.  I’d only met the hosts as I took their picture with the Ghana group at the airport before they all left, so I was a bit nervous heading to their home for dinner.  I had a great time; they are super people I wouldn't mind getting to know better.

The following day was a get together with our friends we haven’t seen in a few months. Lots of catching up, played a few games, and then so much fun watching the football game together that evening (which we won!).  Wish we could see them tomorrow but we’ll be with other friends and they will be with family.

The week of Christmas has arrived and Mom has Pneumonia so can’t bring my nephew to our house to stay a few days.  She also can’t come to Christmas Eve dinner. I plan to head down to pick up my nephew while mom revisits the doctor and hopes she isn't put in the hospital and Don went to help a coworker move into her new Condo. When he finished helping her move, he went to the mall to do some Christmas shopping and I must say he did a good job! Mom was given some different antibiotics and steroids to help her lungs/cough and was by her account feeling so much better by Christmas Eve, although she still didn't have much of a voice.  I even said “You sound horrible, how are you doing?” and she responded “I feel so much better! No, really, I don’t sound it but I do.” The only thing that saved her from a hospital stay was that she didn't have a fever.  I’m so glad she at least got to be home in her own bed to rest and I could keep her updated with texts. Our nephew immediately wanted to watch Guardians of the Galaxy when we got to our house.  I bring this up because about half way through he fell asleep and I took a picture.  It isn't often teens take naps but they should and my dogs joined in.  The rest of the time was spent playing with our board games, watching movies, and playing video games with uncle Don on my computer.  I've seen the future where I no longer get time on my computer LOL! Joking aside we really had a great couple days and are looking forward to his next visit.

Christmas Eve was our day for Christmas with my family this year so my nephew could be home with his family for Christmas day.  I did most of the food prep the night before so it was a pretty seamless just put it all in the oven on time.  My mom’s husband was coming up so we waited for him to get off work and arrive which was killing Colin who was anxiously counting down to his arrival so he could open his gifts and get his stocking.  I remember those days; I really can’t wait until we have our own family to watch as they wake us early and want to dive right in. He was such a trooper as Tom was here for about an hour before we started exchanging gifts.  He was super anxious for me to find the gift he hid in the tree.  I wish I had pictures of his face as I walked to the opposite side of the tree to look for wrapping paper and he was commenting how it wasn't there.  Turns out he wrapped and hid the gift himself and he was pretty happy about it.  I’d say he did a great job as it took me a couple minutes to find it.  Once the gifts were done, Colin started playing his new game on Xbox while I finished our dinner. Tom would take him home later that evening.

The following morning Don and I spent time just relaxing and talking to family.  We then planned to head over to his Sister’s house for dinner and we introduced them to Cards against Humanity.  They loved it.  It was a blast watching them play and then we fixed a non conventional dinner of steak, stuffed potatoes, crab legs, and broccoli.  It was so yummy and a refreshing change from the normal holiday foods we all typically serve.  Sadly she had to be up early to open the next day so we made it a fairly early night but not before she sent half a pie home with us because no one had room for it after dinner.

Fast forward and here we are on New Year’s Eve.  I can’t believe another year is about to pass.  We’ll be having dinner with a couple friends and then heading to a gathering of live music and food at their friends place to ring in 2015! Here’s hoping 2015 is even better than 2014 and that we all remember the importance of family, friends, and community. 

Decorating for my Favorite Holiday

We’re back from our drive to California for Thanksgiving.  It was great to see our family and friends but so nice to be back home. The fun has started with Christmas right around the corner.  I already have my shopping done, just need to wrap what’s here and wait a couple more days for the remainder to arrive. I hope the kids enjoy the gifts from their wish lists this year.

On Sunday we went to the farm to get our tree and we normally get a 6-7 foot tree but not this year.  This year we picked out a HUGE 9-10 foot tree and cut the top and base.  It was extremely full with no holes in the foliage.  We just couldn't pass it up even knowing my angel tree topper wouldn't be going on top of the tree this year.  I even had to go out and buy more LED lights for the tree.

Decorating the house and tree make the holiday for me. Don moves the tree in and sets it up then leaves me to start decorating it. I can’t wait to share the decorating with our child.

 I love the smell of a natural tree in the house and the ornaments that bring back memories or new ones that I buy to remind me of the year. 

The year we moved to Washington we spent Christmas in our apartment with his parent’s visiting. We had a small tree with few ornaments but Don did get me the M & M lights I really wanted and they still work to this day over 20 years later.  Christmas day would stick in my mind forever as he left the room after we opened gifts, only to get down on his knee and propose.  We've never looked back from that day on and it makes Christmas ever more special to me.

I’m still putting out the decorations this year and hope to get the outside lights done on Sunday.  We have rain slated for the next couple days, tapering off on Saturday so it should melt the ice on the roof so we can safely put the lights up. Saturday night we hope to go to Zoo Lights at Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium. I’m super excited about the light displays this year and can’t wait to make new memories with our future child.

I need to finish the decorating and get down to our Christmas cards this week.  We got our first one in the mail today. It can be hard to sum up the year for the cards, especially when adopting and having no new news to share. Some folks are great with the year in review family newsletters and it just hasn't ever been my strong point.  I like adding just a small personal note to each card but may try the newsletter approach again. Time will tell which approach wins out this year.

Here are a few favorites to leave you with as I get back to decorating and listening to Christmas music.

Movies: White Christmas, Elf, Miracle on 34^th St (original), A Christmas Carol (Patrick Stewart) and A Nightmare before Christmas

Music: A Merry Affair CD with Various artists singing new and classic songs, White Christmas, Now that’s what I call Christmas! vol. 1

Holiday Traditions

As the holidays are fast approaching some of our Holiday Traditions begin with when we’ll be visiting family in California.  This year it’s for Thanksgiving.  Since we drive down I actually prefer going in November because there is a lot less snow and ice. I love taking the dogs to the beach to run and play and the warmer temps make it more enjoyable for us all.

Our drive down typically has us stopping to visit long time friends in the Sacramento area before heading south to spend the holiday week with our families. While we get to visit with them the dogs have a blast in the large fenced yard playing with our friend’s son. I think besides the beach it’s what they look forward to every year.  They get super excited as we pull into the driveway and literally pull us to the house. The other must is In n Out burger. I've actually made a list of where they are for the drive down this year.

Once we get to our hotel we break up the week with a day to visit each family cluster with Thanksgiving Day with Don’s family. Usually after Thanksgiving we will stop at Don’s parents for breakfast before we head out to drive home.  We once again stop in at our friend’s place for the night and head out early the next day for the longest portion of the drive home – 12 hours.  I drink lots of coffee that day.

Once we get home the real fun for me begins.  After unpacking I get to drag out all the Christmas decorations and begin decorating while I listen to Christmas music or watching my favorite holiday movies. Christmas is my favorite holiday by far.  I will probably pull the boxes out and put them upstairs before we leave this year since Thanksgiving is so late in the month. On years when we’re home we go to the farm and get our tree the day after Thanksgiving and I spend the day decorating it. Then over the next few days, as the tree settles, I will move things around. I can’t wait to share getting the tree and the decorating with our little one.

Colin loves to play with the trains around the tree

Once the weekend hits we move outside to put out the lights. I love just sitting outside with nothing but the shine from the Christmas lights. I enjoy seeing all the decorations as I drive down the streets; we have some spectacularly decorated homes on our street.  We go with the basics though, Santa in a sleigh on the roof and lights around the house and garage.

I love cooking and baking for my family during the holidays and can’t wait to share that with our future child.  I remember doing that with my mom and aunts every year and can’t wait to pass it in. So we host Christmas most years sometimes for my whole extended family and others just my immediate family. When it’s just a small gathering rather than use china, I always have fun bringing out the Looney Tunes Fiesta Ware for Christmas dinner.  Other people use china and I go with a fun approach more than a formal one.  It’s always fun asking the nephews what character they want and setting it all up on the table. This year will just be us, my mom and her husband and my nephew and it’ll be Christmas Eve dinner instead of Christmas day. I don’t mind though as we want to spend time with my nephew and with his mom having Christmas off this year, Christmas Eve is the day.

wish they still made these

My mom no longer eats meat so I called to ask about certain dishes this year for the Christmas dinner and our nephew yelled out I want ham! Well OK I guess we’re having ham and lots of Veggie dishes. Don will be on board with that since he’d rather not eat 2 week’s worth of turkey in a 4 week span. This seems to be a new tradition we’re forming after I made ham for Colin last year.

We will wind down the holidays on New Year’s Eve by watching the movie of the same name, playing games and then watching the ball drop in Times Square or watch the Space Needle fireworks. We don’t like going out unless it’s to our friend’s place earlier in the day and then we just stay the night.  We don’t want to be out on the road.