The true value of an adoption blog is about being who you
are in all the messy glory that entails.
Not every day is sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. That said, I and
others in the adoption blog community have been told our blogs are too negative
and should add more fluff to make people happy; to entice expectant
mothers to want to read more and possibly pick us to parent her child. I hope the expectant mom who reads this blog and picks us knows shes seeing us not fluff.
I’m all for being real.
I can’t and won’t live with faking myself, my emotions or our lives. The emotions, all of them, in our journey are
very real. The blogs I read are real people with real ups and downs and from
all angles of adoption. I read birth mother blogs, hopeful adoptive parent
blogs and blogs of those who have adopted domestically, internationally and
through foster care. They all have
unique perspectives and I feel the more we read the better informed we are and
will be when our time comes.
I believe that showing yourself in your true light is how to
get noticed by the right family. Open adoption is a difficult path for everyone
involved and also extremely rewarding when the match is right. I've watched it unfold for many happy
families with our agency. Is everything
always perfect? No, but having the right match with the right expectant mom
will be our gift. I want that expectant
mom to know us, the real us, when she chooses us for her adoption plan. I have a great desire in maintaining that
relationship for life because our child is for life. In that desire I have to know and so does she,
that we are right for that lifelong commitment. However that looks for her and us
at match, placement, and as life goes on. We need to be flexible but committed
with our agreed on plan which is built on trust and if we are true in our blog and other social media then when we talk she'll know it's truly us.
There are so many variables in people and it’s just as
varied in adoption. You never know what
an expectant mom will be looking for or where she will see you so that online
snap shot of who you are better be the people she meets.
If our blog seems negative or depressing to you, try looking
at it from a different perspective. What
may seem one way to you may be giving others hope or just the knowledge they
aren't alone with how they are feeling that day. It’s also about our adoption
journey no one else’s. It’s as unique as
everyone’s fingerprints.
Our blog is about processing our emotions whatever they may
be. It’s about two people looking to have an open adoption. It’s about showing snippets
of our daily lives from food, to pets, to vacations, to remodeling, playing
games with friends or spending time with family. It’s about our dreams and
holding on to hope, having faith it’ll happen, and writing about it. It’s about
documenting everything while waiting to adopt to look back on. It’s about a future we long to have as
a family of 3.
YES. I think reality is vital - for your own integrity, for the encouragement of others in similar situations, and because pretending doesn't help anyone. Great post. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Hanna I appreciate the comment and feedback. Have a great weekend :)
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