Remembering grandma and Family time

Remembering Grandma
Two weeks ago my uncle called to say he was planning a trip up the following week to spend time with family and to see grandma.  So we talked about getting together while he was here, etc.
Well, grandma passed away two days later surrounded by all of us who live here.  Other family from out of state called to say good-bye.  It was heartbreaking since losing grandpa 7 months earlier and she'd been doing pretty well until that day.  She was laughing and joking around just the day before and then she was ready to go.  I got a text from my mom and aunt that Thursday afternoon telling me it was time to say good-bye. Don was working from home that day so we got in the car and headed down. We stayed as long as we could and I got hug and kiss her and tell her how much we loved her. It really means a lot to me that I got to be with my grandparents before they passed away.  I got the call 15 minutes after we left that she passed.  I'm glad Don was driving us home. My grandma was the rock in the family, She always gave great hugs, advice when you asked for it, and her laughter was infectious.  She loved playing games, usually won, and she loved us all so much.  She also loved traveling with my grandpa all over the US, Mexico and Canada.  Later on they took a bunch of long cruises and went to China, Hong Kong, Panama, Antarctic and Australia to name a few and always shared their trips with us through stories and pictures.  Grandma's memorial was this past Thursday and everyone had such great memories to share and my aunt even had a recording of my grandma from the week before that she played and it made us all laugh when we heard grandma say "Where the hell are we going?" The service was beautiful and a great way to remember the amazing lady that she was.
October 31, 1931 - March 24, 2016

 I love this picture of grandma and I 

She loved to laugh

grandma in 1947 - she was 16

 With my grandma - I was a year old 

 Always loved the double exposed picture my Aunt took of my grandparents

 Grandma as a child 

Family Time

So my uncle flew up here for the week and I met him at Snoqualmie Falls on Wednesday.  We talked, walked around and took pictures before heading back to my house where Don had gotten off work early and was waiting for us.  We showed him all the changes we've made to our place and then went to dinner.  We talked and played games and had a great time.  He had to get up early to go pick up my aunt so we met up again at the memorial.  He was heading out to my cousins place for the weekend and we went out for the night on Saturday.  So much fun.  We hadn't been to my cousins new place since he moved last year so it was great on all fronts.  We got to spend time with family and see the island they call home.  They picked us up at the ferry terminal on his sailboat and we cruised back to the island.  The dogs loved it and it was a gorgeous day to be on the water. We met some of his neighbors at the BBQ that evening and they had 4 of the sweetest girls who hang out with my cousins daughter. We talked about adoption and it was great having someone who understands the process. They adopted their girls and they are so loved. One day it'll be our turn.  We hadn't planned on staying the night but we were invited to and we did.  I'm glad we did we had a great night hanging out with family having a few drinks, lots of food and lots of stories.  I liked what my cousin said when I said I didn't have stuff for us but at least the dogs had everything they needed and he said "That's why you're going to be awesome parents because they come before you." In the morning we were driven to the ferry terminal and said good-bye.  It was the first time the dogs had been on a ferry but they loved it.  Don will be seeing my uncle again next weekend since he'll be in CA for the weekend to see his parents. He offered to give Don a tour of CBS where he works so that should be a fun day for them.

  All Aboard Selfie

    Happy Happy

My aunt took this picture of us last week

The dogs meet my cousins puppy who wore them out 

When life gives you lemons make lemonade

Sure we’ve all heard the phrase and when I think of it I think why not use the lemons to make pies and cake or lemon bars. How about take the seeds and plant them for a tree to grow and continue to provide you with lemons. It’s what reminds me of family and some great childhood memories of growing up surrounded by lemon and orange trees (you think roses are thorny try these trees) in southern California.

Well backing up a bit to August when I lost my grandfather. We knew it would happen just not when and luckily I was there for his final day for many hours.  I was lucky to have that time with him and others in my family to say goodbye to an incredible man who had 92 years on this planet.  He survived WWII, Meningitis, four kids, 7 grand-kids and 20 great grand-kids.  He was strict but super loving with a great sense of humor and love of nature.  His love of travel is where I got my love of travel.  We take separate trips and then sit down together and share our stories and pictures.  He and my grandma took many, many trips across Canada, Mexico and every state in the US.  So there are tons of pictures.  When he was too old to drive they took cruises and I got to see the Outback, Hong Kong, the Panama Canal and Antarctica through his pictures. I miss him every day. I miss his stories and his smiles and his love of sweets (he loved Lemon meringue pie). I was so hoping our child would get to meet him and he always asked me when he’d get to meet his 21st great grandchild (grandpa had Alzheimer’s). I can only hope when we do get selected to be parents that we can convey what a great man he was through our stories and pictures along with grandma telling them too.

Grandpa last Halloween with his homemade spider chocolate and pretzels

The reason I’m posting on this now is it has become very clear just how fragile life is. My mom had a major surgery on her hip, back and nerves a week ago.  She is having some complications and is in a great deal of pain.  I wish I could take that pain away.  It’s so hard to hear about and see but then to get a call at 11:45 at night from your aunt telling you that your dad has had a stroke and is in the hospital with severe weakness on his right side. We're 1100 miles away you can’t just rush to the hospital to be with him. I still might drive down to help him.  He lives alone and owns his own shop.  If he doesn’t regain some strength and use of his right side soon the dogs and I will go down to California and help him continue to get the cars and trucks fixed so he can pay his bills. As my dad said to me “You don’t realize all your body does without thinking about it until you no longer can, especially when it’s your dominate side.”  It was a reminder of working in the hospital and seeing all walks of life and ages of stroke victims. It’s a crushing blow, even mild strokes. You literally have to start over relearning motor skills and some need speech therapy. I’m extremely thankful it wasn’t worse and he can still talk and is alive but it’s a not so gentle reminder that anything can happen at any time, even adoption.

Next week I start driving down to help my mom because her husband has to go back to work but she knows I may have to go to my dad and that’s a tough choice to make.  My parents are both hard working, tough and stubborn so I can only hope that strength and determination helps them to recover quickly. If dad makes a comeback in his strength I will at least see him next month when we go down for Thanksgiving, otherwise I’ll go down and stay until Thanksgiving and Don will fly down and meet us.

The lesson relearned is never taking life for granted. Reach out to those who you love (family, friends, birth parents) and tell them what they mean to you for tomorrow may be too late.  Call often so you can hear their voice and they yours.  In this age of technology we to often just email, text or post on Facebook without thinking of actually calling and connecting on a human level. This is one reason we want an open adoption so we can keep our families connected for our child. They can grow up knowing how much they are loved by everyone.

I’m forever grateful to those around me now and even those who are no longer here except in my heart and memories. I’m thankful for an amazing husband who is so supportive and to my pets that I get to love and spoil. Most of all I’m grateful for my parents and how they raised me.  I, too, am strong, stubborn and determined and it’s from them (and DNA) that I learned to stay the course and do what needs to be done.

Time to make some lemonade!