Frequently Visited States

Our agency posts stats every month and it can be exciting or discouraging.  This month was discouraging. We met most of the expectant parent intakes (they are shown by a number so they are anonymous except to the agency) except they chose state restrictions. I know to help make the letters they do get more manageable they are asked for specific things they are looking for in hopeful adoptive parents so the agency can narrow it down for them based on our own profile questionnaires. Now I understand where they are coming from with over 600 waiting families it'd be daunting to get even a third that many profiles to go through. They may also want to be sure they are close enough for face to face visits and we understand that but seeing state restrictions for states we frequently travel to, hurts. So this post is about states we frequent or could frequent because of close ties or we drive through it on our regular trips south.

California:

Don and I were both born and raised (for the most part since my parents divorced I also lived in NV and WA) in southern California. We routinely travel to visit family and friends there and thus we also drive through Oregon, so an expectant mom in Oregon or California would have frequent visits lining up with our travels and would be just one more bright spot for additional visits home.  We always stop to visit friends in Northern California then head south and stop to see them again on our way home.

Now on top of our  California connection we also have direct connections to Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, and Texas. 

Georgia, Alabama, and Tennessee:

Don worked in Atlanta for over 2 years so we grew many friendships and that we'd visit multiple times a year, including Dragon Con weekend.  We are guaranteed to be there one to two times a year.

Alabama and Tennessee are less likely now but if we had birth parents from there it'd be a priority. When Don was working out of Georgia we'd drive to see our friends but since he's been mostly home we plan on Dragon Con weekend every year so we spend 4-5 days together on vacation in Atlanta and have a blast catching up.  Now one of my best friends lives in Tennessee and we text, Facebook, and face-time regularly. In fact recently we face-timed while Don was driving to our friends place on super Bowl Sunday for about 20 mins. (Don was driving so it was safe).  I haven't been to Tennessee since I was 16 but I do look forward to going back to visit and what better excuse than the parents of our child live there and so does my BFF.

Texas:

My brother and his family moved to Texas and Don and I lived in Texas for a couple years so we have friends and coworkers we visit there. Don even travels for business to Texas still so traveling there is easy and frequent. Speaking of Texas, we used to drive to surrounding states for the weekend or vacations so that's not out of line for us either. We LOVE to travel!

So in short, I understand most parents can't guarantee multiple visits from a far off state but we can and so it's discouraging to see the limitations each month when we'd otherwise be a letter they'd receive; especially when it's places we regularly visit anyway. It of course doesn't mean they'd give us a second look but it's the fact we could be considered and not automatically discarded based on where we live. I know it'll continue because it's the way this process works.

 I also know that no matter where our baby's birth parents live we'll be thrilled to come for visits.

 Our Dragon Con meet up

 with our friends from Atlanta in Italy

Goofing off in New York