Waiting to Adopt = Pixar's Inside Out

How Inside Out resonated with our journey to open adopt.

You start out joyous and hopeful then the longer you wait it slowly transforms into anger (scams), sadness (why not us/failed matches), disgust (scams) and even fear (will we ever get picked? Will it fail at the hospital?). You do everything you know to tread the emotions with dignity and humility but scam after scam dwindles your ability for compassion and you struggle to retain your humanity and personality without bitterness and paranoia. It’s a daily struggle to remain positive and busy.

When everything seems bleak, sad, and hopeless we get a glimmer of hope only to have those hopes dashed. How do you continue?  Like Inside Out it’s about feeling all that, sometimes at the same time, and still working through all those emotions to make decisions for ourselves that affect our futures. 

Joy can't exist without sadness, doubt, fear or anger because if we didn't have the negative feelings we wouldn't understand the joy, happy, elated or content feelings we feel day to day. We wouldn't strive to better ourselves or our situations without the pain of those emotions. They make up the lessons learned in life and more important who we are as individuals. 

I'm a rather blunt person, not in a negative way just matter of fact. If someone asks why we’re adopting I’ll be frank about it same as if they asked the time of day or what kind of dog I have. I am also a sensitive person who wants the best for everyone I meet but I'm also not delusional in that not everyone is out to better themselves but rather to feed emotionally on those waiting or to try to gain financially from adopting couples. That’s not how Adoption is supposed to work and over time it makes us leery with all contacts especially via email, private message or text. I jump every time the phone rings or dings that I’ve gotten an email or text even though 99% of the time it’s people looking to scam adoptive couples. Thank goodness for Report as Spam buttons. 

We want to be excited and hopeful that this is the one meant for us. I strive to make my compassion shine through in written forms of communication but it just depends on how it’s interpreted by the reader. 

Adoption at the end of the day is just like Sadness and Joy going through the maze and trying to get back to head quarters. It was that journey where they really learned what each had to offer and how important they both were to the well being of Riley. That’s how open adoption should work and we hope will work for us.

The Kindness of Strangers and More.

My last post was a pretty emotional one but what happened the next morning would have me in tears, literally. I promise this is a happy post of what’s happened the last two weeks.

• Our basement remodel is pretty much done with just a few minor things left to do.
• Don is in Ghana building a kindergarten playground for the new school the charity recently built.
• We bought new furniture, Goodbye hand me downs.
• Two years waiting but still happy and hopeful

If you follow us on Facebook you may have seen my brief post about it but here is the full context. Don and I have remodeled a large part of our finished basement and are moving our living room down there, so we bought all new furniture.  When we went to the local furniture shop they had a sand sculpture in the parking lot so I took a picture and posted it to our Facebook page.  The shop saw it and decided to add a gift to our furniture delivery. Our delivery was a week out from when we purchased it so that the basement could be mostly finished.

Delivery day came and as they were unloading the furniture from the truck, one of the guys brought a big red gift wrapped box over to me and set it down on the porch. I was stunned! I really was because it was a big box and then I read the card attached and immediately started tearing up.  Not only had they sent us a gift for our future child but I got it just when I needed it most.  I Love the little red chair! I really can’t wait for the day when it’s being used (and not by our four-legged kids).  For now it’s still in the box but hopefully soon we can put it in the living room or nursery. After the shock wore off I took pictures and sent them to Don, who was out of town for the weekend.  He was able to see it and was just as thrilled with it as I was. 

Here's what they said on our Facebook page when I posted our extreme appreciation:

"The Old Cannery Furniture Warehouse Glad you received it! We've been anxiously anticipating your delivery since last weekend! We will be thinking about you!"

We are still waiting for a few finishing touches to the basement but for the most part it’s done and set up.  I love it and can’t wait for Don to get home from Ghana so we can move the audio equipment and satellite receiver down there and hook it all up. We also had cabinets built in down there so I can finally move some things we don’t use often out of the kitchen beginning tomorrow after the contractor finishes up.

Tomorrow also marks our two years "live" and three years since we started the process to adopt. It's also National Chocolate day.  Last year I went for a hot fudge sundae and if it sounds good tomorrow I may celebrate with another one or maybe just eat a fun size Butterfinger.