The Kindness of Strangers and More.

My last post was a pretty emotional one but what happened the next morning would have me in tears, literally. I promise this is a happy post of what’s happened the last two weeks.

• Our basement remodel is pretty much done with just a few minor things left to do.
• Don is in Ghana building a kindergarten playground for the new school the charity recently built.
• We bought new furniture, Goodbye hand me downs.
• Two years waiting but still happy and hopeful

If you follow us on Facebook you may have seen my brief post about it but here is the full context. Don and I have remodeled a large part of our finished basement and are moving our living room down there, so we bought all new furniture.  When we went to the local furniture shop they had a sand sculpture in the parking lot so I took a picture and posted it to our Facebook page.  The shop saw it and decided to add a gift to our furniture delivery. Our delivery was a week out from when we purchased it so that the basement could be mostly finished.

Delivery day came and as they were unloading the furniture from the truck, one of the guys brought a big red gift wrapped box over to me and set it down on the porch. I was stunned! I really was because it was a big box and then I read the card attached and immediately started tearing up.  Not only had they sent us a gift for our future child but I got it just when I needed it most.  I Love the little red chair! I really can’t wait for the day when it’s being used (and not by our four-legged kids).  For now it’s still in the box but hopefully soon we can put it in the living room or nursery. After the shock wore off I took pictures and sent them to Don, who was out of town for the weekend.  He was able to see it and was just as thrilled with it as I was. 

Here's what they said on our Facebook page when I posted our extreme appreciation:

"The Old Cannery Furniture Warehouse Glad you received it! We've been anxiously anticipating your delivery since last weekend! We will be thinking about you!"

We are still waiting for a few finishing touches to the basement but for the most part it’s done and set up.  I love it and can’t wait for Don to get home from Ghana so we can move the audio equipment and satellite receiver down there and hook it all up. We also had cabinets built in down there so I can finally move some things we don’t use often out of the kitchen beginning tomorrow after the contractor finishes up.

Tomorrow also marks our two years "live" and three years since we started the process to adopt. It's also National Chocolate day.  Last year I went for a hot fudge sundae and if it sounds good tomorrow I may celebrate with another one or maybe just eat a fun size Butterfinger. 

I will miss you

Dearest K,

We've spent the last six weeks getting to know each other. Even though you were early in your pregnancy I never doubted your commitment for this open adoption.  I loved our conversations and the pictures we exchanged in anticipation for what was next. The long and short conversations we’d have every day, I’ll miss those.  I could feel the excitement even through email as our trip to meet and match was getting closer. You are Bright, beautiful, and one of the sweetest people I've had the privilege to “meet”.

Today everything would change. I've been dreading that phone call.  I was hoping it would never come to pass but it remained in my mind since you first told me. I know how upset you are about this for us and we feel the same for you.

Today my heart breaks.  It breaks for you, us and what could have been. It breaks because I can’t be there for you as you go through this. It breaks because I knew when I woke this morning that something must be wrong because you hadn't responded and that isn't like you. I wish I could call you and let you know it’s going to be ok and how sorry we are. We wanted nothing more than to include you in our lives but what’s important now is you. Please know it isn't anyone's fault, nothing could have been done. I know how strong you are and you will get through it, just as we will but know this I will miss you!

Please know if you need to talk I’m still here for you.

Sincerely,

Nicole

Empathy, Autism, Friendship and Parenting

I've been reading a lot of parenting articles and one recently mentioned parents not teaching kindness and empathy in children.  As a sensitive and empathetic person I find it disturbing to say the least. I do believe the parents are the keys to unlock our kids potential, among many other factors and kindness towards ourselves and others is absolutely necessary. I realize right and wrong trump it most times but seriously isn't hard to touch base on even in the right/wrong lesson.
A story of when I was in 6th grade; A girl about half way through the school year moved to the super small town I lived in.  She Always wore bowling shoes and people made fun of her and her simple nature.  I took offense and I was myself chastised for being kind to her and empathic. I realize now she was autistic but back then we didn't have a word for it (even if we did I was in 6th grade and didn't know it).  She had a great family, she was kind, fun, and I hope her life turned out amazing. I spent time with them for about a year before I moved away. She was so real I still smile thinking of her, her bowling shoes, her black bob and our friendship and to those fellow students who laughed you really missed out!
Wanting to have a family ourselves I keep in mind the people I knew and read the articles I can so I can be as informed and reflective as possible. I hope to be the parent that teaches right, wrong, empathy, kindness, and silliness.