Open Adoption

I thought I was going to write about something completely different but it came to mind that many people don't fully understand what Open adoption is or how an agency can help you navigate it. So let me begin with we are with Independent Adoption Center  http://www.adoptionhelp.org/ and they are one of the first agencies that started the thinking on Open Adoption.  I am fully behind the open adoption for many reasons and the first and foremost is the benefit to the child and birth family.  We got super excited to learn that our child is supposed to have access to his birth mom/dad/family and they'd know from the start that they were chosen and not abandoned.  They'd never wonder why didn't they want me? Why can't I find my family medical history? Why!? That spoke volumes to us.  I can't express how excited we are to find that someone to match with and make a family, not just our family but the extended birth family.  I want our child(ren) to know that they came to us through love and sacrifice and the birth parents/family love them and want to know them as aunts, uncles, birth mom, birth dad, whatever. I can't wait to match and have said baby and get to arrange our meetings with the birth family.  I can imagine all kinds of gatherings and hope that one day they come true.
Now a lot of folks think that because you have an open adoption that you aren't the "true parents" and that isn't the case.  We are the parents, we do the 2am feedings, the doctor appts. the coach for whatever the child is into, we do the playing, feeding, discipline, etc. There is no doubt who the parents are and in open adoption it's a much more stable environment for the child.
As for the agency, if you're even considering an adoption plan please contact them, there is no obligation and they have a lot of information that can help you make a plan, even if you choose to parent they can help you find resources to get you started.
Open Adoption may not be for everyone but it is how we want to grow our family and parent. We can't wait to make our match and make a family through open adoption.

I helped with the birth of our friends daughter (about 10 mins old in this pic) and it's a treasured memory I hope to share with our birth mom someday.

A day with Friends who are like our extended Family

Today is another game day with friends.  When I say game people may think watching baseball or football but I mean actual board games.  We play with the family and a few other friends who drive up. This week I won't be playing but instead hanging out with my friend's wife and daughter(s).  They are playing a war game this week and I have no interest in war games (think super Risk).

I prefer games like Apple to Apples, Scrabble, or Talisman style games.  Our friend's daughters were both home and her two grand daughter's were there with us while dad played the game with the others (he's in the blue cap in the above picture).  We played a few board games, and played with the little girls and they loved playing catch the butterfly, run through the sprinkler and dress up. The dog even showed off her Batgirl costume for Halloween.

Playing with the butterfly net

playing dress up

I am Batgirl!

I ended the night at home with my baby in my lap eating his Antler while his brother, Parker, pouted because he wanted the one Tucker had instead of his own, which he was happily chewing on until Tucker started in on his.  

How pets, especially dogs, can prep you for parenthood.

A Tongue and Cheek look at the similarities :)

• Dogs and kids put everything they can into their mouths and need to be taught what is ok and what isn't
• Dogs have taught us how to seriously baby(dog) proof
• Dogs like some kids end up in the emergency room for illnesses
• Sleep is a luxury with young children/infants and puppies
• Cleaning is constant with dogs and kids
• Daily or almost daily outings to the park for walking/playing
• Dogs and kids love playing and learning
• Dogs and kids love music
• Dogs and kids both need to socialize
• Dogs need teething bones to chew while teething and kids need teething chews you freeze for them
• Both dogs and kids need to be potty trained
• Dogs have foods they can never have while kids shouldn't have honey or nuts until after 3 years of age
• Dogs will also be noise sensitive if not exposed to noises growing up as will kids.  Bring on the noise :)
• Dogs and kids can have explosive accidents at the worst time (guests visiting) but it all cleans up the same
• Dogs and kids leap without mind for consequences (at least the kids learn but our dogs really don't)
• Dogs and kids will drag out every toy they have and leave it all over the house
• Dogs and kids always want what you have versus what they have
• Dogs and kids always need you "Right Now" as soon as you're on the phone or in a conversation with someone
• Sleeping with dogs or toddlers is at best a three ring circus as they snuggle really close almost pushing you out of bed or you contort your body in attempts to sleep you can barely move in the morning
• Dogs and kids need routines

At the end of the day though dogs and kids are 200% worth it!  Our dogs and cats are family; our kids.  We can't wait to be parents and share our love of animals with our child(ren).