Yin and Yang - Order and Chaos

It’s human nature to want to be that perfect family.  I know we all strive for that but we are perfectly flawed too. In adoption we strive even more so as we try to express who we are in a few short pages. Maybe we have an online presence to show more about us but you never know if the expecting parents will see it. So in the grand scheme we describe ourselves through pictures and words in a brochure format sent to expecting parents to look at.  They get to see the great people you are but not the flaws of being a human being. We all have them and I thought I’d share ours and how we have adjusted to each other’s and make it work to our benefit.

Don and I are yin and yang.  He’s order and I’m chaos so to speak.  I’m perfectly fine with things just wherever I put them down and he is put it where it belongs the first time. We have over the years together learned to live in ordered chaos.

I know that he came to appreciate that I can’t find things if he moves them and same for me.  We have totally different desks outside that they both have computers.  Mine with books, mail, toys, and my trail mix and his is just his computer. This doesn't mean we live in a dirty house by any means so please don’t think we do (we wouldn't pass our home study if we did!).  I clean and he cleans but I’m not picky if the mail sits on my desk instead of going through the shredder right this second or being filed.

Dog toys litter the house and while I don’t care because they just drag them all back out the second I put them away (unless I’m vacuuming and then they aren't around), Don has to try putting them back in the toy box.  I always chuckle because the second he puts them back Parker and Tucker are digging out their favorite toys leaving a trail of other toys behind.  I think having pets and a wife who can live in chaos has helped him see that we all have our ways of keeping our stuff as we need to. It has also helped me to see the order side of him.  Everything in its place means he has what he needs when he needs it without having to ask me or getting frustrated that he can’t find it.

We found the perfect balance and know our child will benefit from both perspectives. They will have a mom who won’t mind the toys everywhere and a dad to reinforce putting your stuff away when you’re done playing with it. Both are valuable lessons. I know when my nephew visits I’m usually the one who says put your things away more than Don but I know if I didn't he would and knowing we will be on the same page with our child is a great beginning to build on.