Baking, Cooking, Cooking, Baking I'm in Love!

 

I have always loved cooking, started making scrambled eggs at age 2 and moving up to grilled cheese and many other things by age 4. I began making cookies and candy with my mom and aunts for holidays around then as well, a tradition I hope to pass on to our little one.  Outside baking I never really used cookbooks to cook.  I'd just see what was on hand and throw something together.  Some of our favorite meals came about that way.

 I bought my first cookbook when Don and I started dating and boy was it a horrible one.  We still laugh about one meal I made exactly as the book said and it was hideous! That book went bye-bye but thankfully I didn't stop there and have many books now from vegetarian meals and ethnic cuisines to basic all encompassing books to baking.  I even gathered yummy recipes from the internet, long before Pinterest was around but they've made it easier to find way too many things to try.

My favorite time of year has arrived and the baking and making of good comfort food has begun.  I enjoy cooking anyway but I rarely bake unless the holidays are upon us or we can get fresh pumpkins.  I steamed some pumpkins and made a pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting yesterday and in the oven now is pumpkin bread.  I’m keeping a loaf and taking the other plus the cake to my grandparents.

I also made lasagna yesterday to take to my grandparent's tomorrow. Grandma was super-excited to hear all the goodies I would be bringing down for them.  Her response is why I love to cook.  It makes my heart smile when people enjoy my food or shared recipes.  I can't wait to share my Love of cooking and baking with our son or daughter. I can only hope they'll love it half as much as I do.

My guest blog post on America Adopts

I was contacted to do a guest blog for America Adopts and here is the result.

http://www.americaadopts.com/looking-bright-side-wait-open-adoption-match/

Looking On The Bright Side As We Wait For An Open Adoption Match

Posted by Lawrence on September 30, 2014 · Leave a Comment 

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This guest post is by Nicole, a hopeful adoptive mother and blogger.

The adoption journey for us so far has been an interesting one. We knew that if we wanted to have a family we’d adopt because I didn’t want to do IVF.

Well, that is much easier said than done.

At the time we were first investigating adoption options, we kept hitting road blocks. Like the agency was closed or they only did closed adoptions. We wanted at the very least a semi-open adoption.

Years went by and then one day a friend and co-worker of my husband, Don, mentioned an agency that they’d found and were going through to adopt. Don sent me the link and I contacted them for more information.

We did a phone call to ask our questions and get them answered and signed up for the weekend workshop which was in March the following year.

As I was taking it all in and talking with others at the workshop — one couple had adopted before and were a great resource – Don was getting more and more excited about the prospects of what an open adoption could mean for us.

He was seriously like a kid in the candy store by the time we met our adoption coordinator for the first time. I, on the other hand left crying.

So many emotions; elation, anxiousness, excitement, nervousness, I couldn’t believe we’d signed the papers and were on our way.

We left that day with two additional books to read on open adoption. By the next morning I had already finished “The Kid,” one of the books, before our workshop had even started.

Our agency is in another state so as soon as we got home I began gathering the information we’d need to do our home study. Don was set to go to Ghana a few weeks after our workshops so I had everything together when he returned.

I think most prospective adopting couples stress about the home study but it really was the easiest part.

Answer everything as thoroughly as you can and don’t stress the white glove test, it doesn’t happen.

Also, the key here is keeping your humor.

Adoption is stressful and being able to laugh at yourself will be key in staying on task.

The other thing we didn’t do but should have was start our letter to a prospective mom right out of the workshop.

It held us up by five months. It is just a design/edit/design/print process that really takes time. This aspect of the process taught me that the wait was going to be hard. I would be right!

We are still waiting for our child to find us.

In fact I’ve never been one to write about myself, our life, or put us out there on social media. We’d always been quite private.

One of the many things adoption teaches you is let go, get out there and learn marketing, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and how to blog.

I just started our blog but already it’s helped me put things in perspective. I want to remember that not every day was an easy one and that we are all humans who need to laugh and cry.

I try to put a fun spin on things either with words or in pictures.

It can be hard like the day we met a couple who were considering us, loved them and they us but in the end we got the call to say they went with the other couple.

So difficult to hear and experience but it strengthened my resolve it can happen at literally anytime.Someday, I can look back at it with our child and say this is the story of our family and you were so worth it!

Other things I do besides update our social sites is to try and keep busy with travel, friends, family, and home projects. We recently went to meet up with a bunch of friends in Atlanta for a convention get together.

This summer we worked on projects in the yard between battling the bugs eating our food in the garden (the bugs pretty much won this year!) to finishing a patio we’d been working on.

We also have been seeing friends or family every weekend for game days. It helps to “get out of your head” even for a few hours or a few days. As our journey continues I try to look on the bright side and wait for the adrenaline rush from a contact who could be the one.

Nicole and her husband, Don, and  live with their “boys” Tucker, Parker (above), Oscar and Chance (cats) and are waiting to complete their family through open adoption. They’ve been married for 18 years and counting, are animal lovers and can’t wait to share their lives with a child. To find out more about them check out their blog.

Are you waiting to adopt?
If you’re looking for ways to increase your visibility and connect with others in the community, including prospective birthparents, share your story with us.

Empathy, Autism, Friendship and Parenting

I've been reading a lot of parenting articles and one recently mentioned parents not teaching kindness and empathy in children.  As a sensitive and empathetic person I find it disturbing to say the least. I do believe the parents are the keys to unlock our kids potential, among many other factors and kindness towards ourselves and others is absolutely necessary. I realize right and wrong trump it most times but seriously isn't hard to touch base on even in the right/wrong lesson.
A story of when I was in 6th grade; A girl about half way through the school year moved to the super small town I lived in.  She Always wore bowling shoes and people made fun of her and her simple nature.  I took offense and I was myself chastised for being kind to her and empathic. I realize now she was autistic but back then we didn't have a word for it (even if we did I was in 6th grade and didn't know it).  She had a great family, she was kind, fun, and I hope her life turned out amazing. I spent time with them for about a year before I moved away. She was so real I still smile thinking of her, her bowling shoes, her black bob and our friendship and to those fellow students who laughed you really missed out!
Wanting to have a family ourselves I keep in mind the people I knew and read the articles I can so I can be as informed and reflective as possible. I hope to be the parent that teaches right, wrong, empathy, kindness, and silliness. 

Don's experiment and the dog who ate a shoe!

Today was a good day of running errands, stopping in to see my favorite waitress I haven't seen all summer and cleaning.  Then Don calls and wants to make Sriracha from scratch.  Well OK I get everything we have at home out for him while he grabs the peppers and sugar from the store before heading home from work. Everything looks good and as it ferments over the next 7 days it's like a little experiment.

 Our mix   

Like I've said before Don likes Hot, spicy food, sauces, etc.  He puts rooster sauce on darn near everything.  I'm sure it'll be good but we will find out in 7 days once he cooks it, strains it and tries it.

The more interesting thing is the dog who ate a shoe.  *SIGH* So back in July for some totally strange reason Tucker ate the side of my shoe.  Now my dogs aren't usually like that.  They tend to stick to their toys or bones.  Every now and again they get into something they shouldn't but this was beyond me.  I had just taken it off.  Well I bought a new pair of shoes. Fast forward to tonight and BAM! I hear a clink, clink of a dog tag and Parker isn't on his spot (he has a pillow on the couch) so I go find him in the bedroom eating the inner sole of my new shoe. GRRRR! Thankfully I caught him before he ate the shoe but good grief.  Why are my 8 year old dogs suddenly into eating my shoes? Of course I'll never know but it isn't how I wanted to end what was otherwise a pleasant day. So looks like I'm shopping at the outlet mall for shoes tomorrow because I don't know if inserts will work in half eaten Toms. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Open Adoption

I thought I was going to write about something completely different but it came to mind that many people don't fully understand what Open adoption is or how an agency can help you navigate it. So let me begin with we are with Independent Adoption Center  http://www.adoptionhelp.org/ and they are one of the first agencies that started the thinking on Open Adoption.  I am fully behind the open adoption for many reasons and the first and foremost is the benefit to the child and birth family.  We got super excited to learn that our child is supposed to have access to his birth mom/dad/family and they'd know from the start that they were chosen and not abandoned.  They'd never wonder why didn't they want me? Why can't I find my family medical history? Why!? That spoke volumes to us.  I can't express how excited we are to find that someone to match with and make a family, not just our family but the extended birth family.  I want our child(ren) to know that they came to us through love and sacrifice and the birth parents/family love them and want to know them as aunts, uncles, birth mom, birth dad, whatever. I can't wait to match and have said baby and get to arrange our meetings with the birth family.  I can imagine all kinds of gatherings and hope that one day they come true.
Now a lot of folks think that because you have an open adoption that you aren't the "true parents" and that isn't the case.  We are the parents, we do the 2am feedings, the doctor appts. the coach for whatever the child is into, we do the playing, feeding, discipline, etc. There is no doubt who the parents are and in open adoption it's a much more stable environment for the child.
As for the agency, if you're even considering an adoption plan please contact them, there is no obligation and they have a lot of information that can help you make a plan, even if you choose to parent they can help you find resources to get you started.
Open Adoption may not be for everyone but it is how we want to grow our family and parent. We can't wait to make our match and make a family through open adoption.

I helped with the birth of our friends daughter (about 10 mins old in this pic) and it's a treasured memory I hope to share with our birth mom someday.

Family and pumpkins

My Uncle is coming up from California to visit soon and I really want to share some pumpkin recipes while they are in town.  So I went and got some pumpkins to cook and plan to make some homemade pumpkin bread, some Curry Pumpkin soup and a handmade pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting.  My grandparents house is where we all meet up together and play games, eat, and enjoy each others company.  We always look forward to it.

I'll also be bringing my mom and grandparents some of the homemade apple butter I made. My love of canning comes from my grandma so I like to show what a good job she did teaching me as I grew up and all the canning books, recipes, and jars have gone to good use.

As Fall tries to approach

It's been unseasonably warm for this time of year but Fall is just around the corner. The leaves have been falling for a couple weeks now but you'd never know it from looking at the trees. That means an almost winter leaf clean-up.
It's also time to dig up the Iris, divide them and get them replanted.

One of the many types of Iris in the yard

I also need to start pulling out the vegetable garden.  I'm hoping our eggplant and tomatoes make it another couple weeks but that'll depend on the weather forecasts. The pumpkins are still growing and I can't wait for them to ripen so I can make fresh pumpkin bread and curried pumpkin soup. Two of our fall favorites. The dogs also eat pumpkin with their dinner every night so they benefit from our garden too. I can't wait to share my love of gardening with our child.  It'll be so much fun to watch them plant their first garden with me.

One of the heirloom sugar pie pumpkins 

 A few of our ripe heirloom tomatoes and a wee eggplant emerging.